Wow. wow. You know, the more I grow, the less I know. The more I think I know, the less I grow. When I was pastoring, I thought I knew what the Word said. I thought I understood what God wanted of me - of us. Now, I don't know. I don't understand. But I am growing.
I want God to be real. I want to feel like I'm part of something more than just cosmic dust and chance. I want to find my purpose in life outside of myself, and I want to serve other people some how. But if there is anything I've learned over the last little while, it's this: I can do all of this, and not include religion in one single bit of it. No, I'm not saying the well-worn phrase, "It's about a relationship, not religion." I'm saying I don't know the answer, I'm saying I want to be a person I'd want to know, and I'm saying I want to make a difference for good in this world. Do I have to be a Christian to do that? No. Will I choose that route because of my past and my experience, and my comfort level? Likely. But does it have to look like what other people tell me it is? Not at all.
I'll bet Jesus wouldn't care if I were gay (though I'm not). If he was willing to lay aside all pretense and tradition to touch a leper, why would he look at my sexuality and make any other judgment than he did with the leper when he said, "I am willing." ? Corruption, either through the body, or through sin, or through poor choices, or through harsh words, or through open rebellion always results in the same thing: corruption. And not one of us is free from that. So, what makes one person's corruption less corrupt than an others? Pride. Self-righteousness. Judgment.
God make me free from them all.
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