tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-292135432024-03-12T18:58:19.006-06:00On My Life's JourneyThis is about My life. Simple, un-edited, and real.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.comBlogger140125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-54330509546943472522013-01-20T08:17:00.000-07:002013-01-20T08:17:04.781-07:00Shriven<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 14.0pt;">Shriven</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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We talked long into the night</div>
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about things I hold near and deep in my soul.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
Sharing things that are painful</div>
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and hard to carry at times –</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
things sometimes best left unsaid and buried –</div>
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but needing to come out.</div>
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<br /></div>
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And even though the hour was insanely late – </div>
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a time that I have to confess, </div>
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I have not seen in very, very long time –</div>
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the words and stories continued to pour forth</div>
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from the rupture in my soul.</div>
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<br /></div>
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My confusion, biases, opinions and fears</div>
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tumbled from my lips in an unbidden cascade –</div>
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and instead of raining down empty to lay gasping</div>
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like dying fish, you picked them up and gave them value</div>
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and meaning and validating them without judgment.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As I lay in bed thinking about things afterwards, </div>
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I found the peace of an empty vessel,</div>
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And slept the sleep of the shriven.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
© 2013 Michael Hunter</div>
Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-17667811801190537672012-12-20T09:53:00.001-07:002012-12-20T14:54:26.266-07:00My Christmas Wish - an open letter to Santa<br />
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<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Dear Santa<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">All
I want for Christmas is to see the twenty-fifth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If
I’m being really honest, it’s my biggest Christmas wish!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
Mayans and the Hopis all predict our end is near,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">They
have made my season, so far, quite devoid of Christmas cheer!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If
I could have my heart’s wish, and have it truly come to pass,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The
world would keep on turning through its celestial, star-filled path!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Mankind
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We’d
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">We’d
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Was
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">But
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">And
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Then
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">To
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">For
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">If
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">So
Santa, maybe I misspoke on what my wish would be.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I’d
rather have a peace-filled world and have it start with me!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Peace
on earth, good will to men.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">© 2012 Michael Hunter</span>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-26481549769894254222012-12-17T17:16:00.001-07:002012-12-17T17:16:10.037-07:00Snow on Frosted Maples<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Snow on Frosted Maples</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Snow on frosted maples</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">melts in drops like tears;</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">tears which fall in silent</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">weeping for our fallen
children.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The cold and dying season</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">has seen the passing of more</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">than russet leaves and</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">southward-winging birds.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">The children too, have flown</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and left behind this frozen
home</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">where so much pain and grief</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">are all that mark their
passing.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Silence greets their homes on
Christmas morn’;</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">where families with hollow
eyes and broken hearts</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">unwrap the un-given gifts</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and rasp out the
unanswerable, “Why?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Through the long dark nights
of winter</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">a mother will stand watch
over</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">an empty bed, an empty room,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">while praying that this cold
would one day end.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Frost on new-turned earth,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">where lies a fallen child,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">cradled in the good earth’s bosom</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">awaiting the thaw of snow on
frosted maples.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">©2012 Michael Hunter</span></div>
Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-29118941169971244152012-12-17T17:04:00.001-07:002012-12-17T17:04:29.754-07:00Second Amendment Lament<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Second Amendment Lament</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Barren halls, devoid of children</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">echo with the ghostly staccato of gunfire</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and the mockingly musical tinkling of spent brass.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Specters of children set free through violence</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">mutely stand vigil over stained tile and carpet,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">shocked by their sudden transition.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Parents, siblings, grandparents and family reel</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">from the sudden void caused by the senseless</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and cowardly actions of a 2<sup>nd</sup> Amendment zealot’s son.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Christmas presents without recipients sit untouched</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">in secret places – never to light up the eyes</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and faces of eager and happy children.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Flags fly in solemn respect at half-staff</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">signifying a nation in mourning, yet a nation
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">so reluctant to address the core of these issues</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">which have made these crimes so common-place.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Bumbling and incompetent politicians – securely</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">in the NRA’s and gun-lobby’s pocket are quick to vomit</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">the party lines: “Guns don’t kill people.” “My fork and knife made me fat.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">All the while the mentally tormented and dangerous</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">continue to take up arms and slaughter innocents –
</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">as apparently <i>their</i> constitutional rights are more sacred</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">than the life of a first-grader.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">How long America, will you dip your pens in the blood of children</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and write the laws that take their lives?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">How long America, will you wrap yourself in a blood-stained flag</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and spew the toxic and hateful lie that guns don’t kill people?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">How many more must bleed your ink and feed your mill</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">before we cry, “enough is enough!!”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">©
2012 Michael Hunter</span>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-4445611410583691202012-12-15T09:40:00.002-07:002012-12-15T09:43:18.012-07:00New poetry for a winter morning<span style="font-size: small;">I've been trying to write something new every day, and place in the hands of the world. I've recently posted several new poems on www.poemhunter.com, and the ones I really like, I've posted here.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">Here are two new poems for your winter morning!</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Morning Peace and Self-reflection</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Morning peace and self-reflection </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">– an apathetic joy – </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">not caring for gain or worldly wealth, </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">but feeling joyful in the <i>single
moment</i>. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">This peace is new,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">and welcome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Strange that I would find this peace</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">apart from God (as I have known him)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">and apart from religion</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">(the staple fare of most of my life.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Yet, set adrift from these restraints,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">I have found a simple peace and an easy joy</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">in finding good and kindness in all men,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">in all moments,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">in this time,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">When I feel fear and anxiety and</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">find myself in unfruitful rumination,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I have scrambled for the fruitless</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">pabulum of prayer and self-justification,</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">when all the while the ease of simple acceptance</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and acknowledgement were waiting patiently for my use.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">"<span style="font-size: small;">That they are what they are,"</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">will quickly easy my heart faster now</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">than<span style="font-size: small;"> any heartfelt cry for peace or justice</span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">from a god wh<span style="font-size: small;">o is removed from the wor<span style="font-size: small;">ld, and</span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">who seems wholly disinterested and uncaring. </span></span> </span> </span> </span></span> </span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
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Looking at Me</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Two wide-screen monitors look at me </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">with blank, black faces</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">awaiting some input from a dusty keyboard and unused mouse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">These portals for imagination and commerce –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">the windows to my research,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0in 0.5in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">my
entertainment,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0in 0in 0in 1in; text-indent: 0.5in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and
my means of paying my way in life –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">look at me blankly in un-hurried anticipation.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do they see me as only an instrument of their operation?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do they think of me as a means for their worldly interactions?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do they wait in secret anticipation to see my choice of wardrobe each
day?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Do they miss me over the long hours of the quiet weekend?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Am I nothing more that the tool – like a keyboard – who brings their
adventures to life?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Or, are they simply inanimate objects and I am being too literal and
literary?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Perhaps they <i>are</i> only
monitors,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">and have nothing to interact with me over.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">But perhaps they are more…?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;">I prefer to think the latter.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;">
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<span style="font-size: small;">© 2012 Michael Hunter</span></div>
<br />
<br />Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-45208294077772873422012-12-11T18:32:00.002-07:002012-12-11T18:32:58.061-07:00Winter Brings Throughts of Aging<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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12.11.12</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Do Not Lament the Passing
Time</span></b></div>
<br />
<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Time makes no concession for
me,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">nor does it care that I am
fighting its relentless forward march.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Try as I might to ‘be in the
moment’,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">it seems to me that as soon
as I am aware of that moment,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">it has passed me by and I am
wondering what I may have missed!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Each day I awake and am
stunned that I am already getting up for yet another week of work, when it
seems like the much-longed-for-Friday had just arrived!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I share my experiences with
friends and co-workers</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and suddenly realize that I
am speaking of events which are twenty years past –</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">though they feel as if they
are of newer stuff. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I begin to see the march of
time played out on the faces of the famous and the popular and,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">either refuse to see it in my
own face,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">or I am looking at myself
through rose-tinted glasses.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">A graying beard and
salt-n-pepper where dark brown was so prominent are the only signs I’m aging!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I don’t have wrinkles, and my
chin is still that: SINGULAR,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">And while I was never muscular,
I can still see definition in my frame,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">in spite of my growing
paunch.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">But I AM getting older.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">My body – the unseen parts –
my bones, joints, brain, vision, and yes, memory </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">are all beginning to make the
change that tells me I am in the beginning of decline,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and can anticipate the autumn
of my life.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I am getting older.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Time does not pity me – nor
does it seem to even notice I am here.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I try to redeem the time,
because I know that MY time is fleeting,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">but I find that I am
continually being passed by the sands flowing through this mortal hour glass!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">But wait – aging isn’t dying!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Getting older doesn’t mean
getting worse! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Would I rewind my days and
relive the moments of my life? Never!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I am a much better man as I
am!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I am a much wiser man at this
time of life!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I am a much kinder man, and a
more caring man than ever I was before!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Would I dare to trade who I
have earned the right to be</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">for one more decade, one
year, one month, or day? No!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I have paid the price for my
gray hair and my mellowed heart and peaceful mind.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I would not cast these gifts
upon the tide of time and ages</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and force myself to pay the
price already paid. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">I will age.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Time will continue, and I
will redeem my hours as I may</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and not lament the moments
which pass me by.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Instead, I will capture those
moments with pen and paper,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and I’ll hold them captive on
a page,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">and thereby live forever!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">© 2012 by Michael Hunter</span>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-67011732198405206132012-12-03T17:43:00.002-07:002012-12-03T19:21:49.561-07:0018 Days - a "tree hugger poem"<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I normally don't write "tree-hugging" anything - but something really
flipped my switch today, and this poem is the product. It's intended to
be read "live" - as in performance poetry, or spoken word poetry - so
just go with it...</span></span></div>
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</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;">18 Days
(12.21.12)</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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18 days left until the end of the world!</div>
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<br /></div>
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We’re down to the wire folks – so get your living in now
because in 18 days, all this chaos, selfishness, hate, bigotry, joy, happiness,
and beauty will come screeching to a halt.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I wonder if the WORLD – the PLANET knows its end is near? I
wonder if it knows that a puny, insignificant species on its face has declared
its end and death? I wonder how many times before it’s heard about its end and
has kept on rollin’ merrily along?</div>
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<br /></div>
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To think that one species can – and has – imposed its
superstitions and god-myths on such an immovable and ancient cosmic body. If
you need a definition of arrogance my friend, look no further!</div>
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<br /></div>
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For billions of years this wonderful water-ball has spun its
way through the cosmos and has nurtured, raised, and even destroyed countless
forms of life upon its face, and yet only one species – amongst the millions
that have come and gone, presume to declare its end.</div>
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<br /></div>
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While spiritual and metaphysical voodoo can make grand
pronouncements about our doom, we are unique in one other aspect, and that is
we are the most intelligent species on earth, and we use our accumulated
brilliance to figure out better ways to kill each other, foul the very air we breathe, poison the water which sustains us, and contaminate the soil
from which we spring.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So foolish.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So near-sighted.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So ignorant in practice.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So
cruel to our mother. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I wonder what makes us – the most intelligent of them all –
so incredibly stupid that we spend enough on war every day to eradicate world
hunger ten times over, and yet, expect us to believe that in 18 days our
world is going to end just because a culture composed of humans ran out a room
on a circle of stone? </div>
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<br /></div>
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Pathetic.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Oh silly misguided human animal. </div>
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<br /></div>
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The only thing that’s going
to destroy this world – this beautiful, self-protecting, self-correcting,
self-balancing world – are the pitiful human animals who don’t even have the
humanity to love each other – let alone the earth – enough to lift us higher
than a stone-age culture looking at the stars and seeing only themselves.</div>
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<br /></div>
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18 days left before the world ends? I don’t think so. Maybe
we’ll do the earth and all its wonderful life-forms a favor and stop the
madness we’ve created, and in 18 days finally learn to love again.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">© 2012 Michael Hunter</span>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-19155663059840850022012-09-15T12:10:00.001-06:002012-09-15T12:21:56.213-06:00To Know, or Not To Know – That is the Question<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uup0ohUcf-A/UFS_CMre6WI/AAAAAAAAAfM/QHWwgQXz954/s1600/Matrix.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uup0ohUcf-A/UFS_CMre6WI/AAAAAAAAAfM/QHWwgQXz954/s640/Matrix.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I was recently asked – in all seriousness – to suppose that
the premise of the movie, “The Matrix” was real. To believe that all of the
reality around me was simply an elaborate computer program and that I was the
equivalent of a battery plugged into a giant power source being fed and
nurtured in pink goo, and having my life experiences fed to me by a cable
screwed into the back of my head. With all of that having been established, the
question was asked, “would you want to know the truth and be freed from the
system, or would you rather continue in the fantasy?”</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-94mSsaSOkmQ/UFS_J40q2GI/AAAAAAAAAfU/wEEXQ61cOow/s1600/0-the-matrix-red-blue-pill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-94mSsaSOkmQ/UFS_J40q2GI/AAAAAAAAAfU/wEEXQ61cOow/s640/0-the-matrix-red-blue-pill.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
I half-expected the person who asked me this question to
offer me a choice between the blue pill and the red one – but they were
completely serious – and asked that I take this seriously, so I will. Knowing,
as I do, the back-end motivation of this question, as well as the opinions of
the person asking it, I am finding that I must temper my thinking and answer
only the question as it is posed, rather than as the potential “open door” for
efforts to convince me or recruit me to their way of thinking. Taking the
question on its own merits however, it poses a very real dilemma – which the
movie was intended to do – and which I suppose all of us should answer
honestly, if we’re to view our world and society objectively. So I’ll venture.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Life is hard enough without having to always stare its
ugliness in the eye day after day. The denial of this ugliness is basic
mechanism of our survival as humans. I think that we can only take so much
“reality” before we begin to be worn down by it all and slip into depression
and even self-destructive behavior. The mechanism of “hope” is not only one of
self-preservation, but it is also a key to finding happiness and peace. But,
because life is a study in contrasts, you cannot have a world devoid of
ugliness any more than you can have one without its moments of levity and joy. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you’ll recall, in the movie the aliens
needed to rethink their program and recreate it with trials, tribulations, and
difficulty. Both elements are absolutely necessary for us to thrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But to entertain the idea that all of life’s
joys and sorrows are contrived, and that there is some kind of reality beneath
or behind it all which is “grittier” or somehow more “real”, and that it has
all been “pulled over our eyes” is depressing.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UbA8utB1vyg/UFS_plHG9pI/AAAAAAAAAfc/Jk3EHQ9h3j4/s1600/the_matrix-battery1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="158" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UbA8utB1vyg/UFS_plHG9pI/AAAAAAAAAfc/Jk3EHQ9h3j4/s320/the_matrix-battery1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
The nature of the question negates the ability to really
answer the question definitively. If you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">know</i>
that what you are seeing is not real, then of course you’re going to be curious
about what your reality is. No matter now wonderful the illusion is, it’s still
an illusion, and no one wants to live in a lie. But because you would have to
gauge the difference between the two extremes, you would, by default, know
which of the two choices was preferable <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">to
you</i> and naturally gravitate towards that. Humans are basically
self-seeking, and will typically seek out and pursue that which will make their
lives easier and more fulfilling. Some people thrive on chaos. Others must live
a “Polly Anna” existence to find satisfaction in life. Even in the current
illusory world, if that is in fact what we’re living in, they will ignore the
strife, contention, and ugliness as much as possible – sticking their heads in
the proverbial sand, and always looking for the rainbows in life. Those who
thrive on chaos are always seeing the negative in life and accept it as the
only real alternative. They are typically pessimistic, un-trusting, and jaded
to the extreme. They see conspiracies behind every event in life, and are often
critical of anyone who is not open-minded enough or intelligent enough to see
the reality staring them in the face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dcUjsIpfeow/UFTAqWVaRhI/AAAAAAAAAfs/UQmGq1Vzql4/s1600/choices22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dcUjsIpfeow/UFTAqWVaRhI/AAAAAAAAAfs/UQmGq1Vzql4/s320/choices22.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Because of this – because there are always at least two
options in life – I think the best way to answer the question of knowing or
not, it to simply say <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">it depends</i>. The
whole premise of the movie breaks down with knowledge. Once a person <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">knows</i> that the life they are living is
an illusion, they are compelled, as all of us would be, to find out what the
reality is. And, while it’s true that there will always be some people who seek
an escape to their current reality, most of us deal with what comes our way,
good or bad. The fact that the “reality program” is too much for some people is
patently evident in the levels of drug and alcohol abuse in our society. People
are seeking a way to escape the reality they are in. If you were a person who
was prone to this kind of behavior already, I would suggest that you would want
to avoid knowing the grim reality that the world had been pulled over your eyes
because if you can’t deal with the “balance” as it is, you certainly won’t be
able to deal with the depressing truth of a world gone mad. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjcCFoliplk/UFTAI8nD2aI/AAAAAAAAAfk/DUD43S0rtKQ/s1600/glass-half-full-XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="268" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZjcCFoliplk/UFTAI8nD2aI/AAAAAAAAAfk/DUD43S0rtKQ/s320/glass-half-full-XSmall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
If, on the other hand, you’re the type of person that
thrives on chaos, loves the grit and dirt, sees the glass as perpetually
half-empty, then by all means, take the red pill and enjoy the ride. If the
only way you can deal with reality is by ripping apart the façade and staring
into the abyss, then you would naturally act on your knowledge. But again,
regardless of your preference in life, you would be compelled to look reality
in the face. You may want to close the door, shut your eyes, or bury your head
again after catching a glimpse of that reality, but you would HAVE to know. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
This is why the act of asking that question breaks down the
ability to answer it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You would <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">have</i> to know, but how you chose to react
to that knowledge will vary with everyone. To answer the question then, I would
be compelled to see for myself the difference, but I would emphatically reserve
the right to react to reality in a way that would preserve my ability to live a
productive and useful life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-75cTVzNiaMc/UFTHKFdMczI/AAAAAAAAAgE/c_spM7SdKms/s1600/BALANCE-SCALE-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-75cTVzNiaMc/UFTHKFdMczI/AAAAAAAAAgE/c_spM7SdKms/s200/BALANCE-SCALE-3.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Are there forces at play in our world that are secret,
malevolent, and dark? Absolutely. Conversely, there are also forces for good
which counter the ugliness every single day. Choosing which one you focus on is
what’s really at the heart of this question. I think it’s important however, to
explain that just because your focus is on the positive, doesn’t mean that you
cannot be doing something about the negative. We all have the ability to choose
our reactions to life and the curveballs it can throw at us. I also think that
you have to choose your battles, and recognize your limitations – we can’t all
go tilting after windmills and taking on every cause that it anathema to our
happiness. It’s about<i> balance</i>. Taking the good with the bad, and adjusting
accordingly. It all really comes down to <i>you</i>. Can you, as one human being make
a difference each day in spite of the ugliness and gritty reality around you?
Can you touch one person for good? Can you make one event easier for someone?
Can you accept that there are always going to be things that you can’t change
which are ugly and distressing, and regardless of that, put a smile on your
face and focus on the positive?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
Knowing or not knowing is a great topic for healthy debate.
But simply knowing that the reality we face every day is going to have light
and dark, joy and suffering, truth and deceit, and peace and pain is enough for
me. It’s enough for me to know that I get to choose how I’m going to react to
this world in all of its gritty splendor, and to accept that there are going to
be things that I can’t change, or that will act upon my happiness. Regardless
of whether my reality is determined by a few million lines of programming code,
or by the dark and dismal reality of a world gone mad, I still get to choose
how I’ll treat others and how I’ll react to what is before me – which fantasy
or not, is still the defining characteristic that makes me human.</div>
Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-21423972748744873352012-09-12T08:54:00.000-06:002012-09-12T12:18:09.632-06:00Is it really the Libyans and Egyptians, or Religion that's to blame?<i>“Disturbances in society are never more fearful than when those who are stirring up the trouble can use the pretext of religion to mask their true designs.”</i> – Denis Diderot<br />
<br />
<i>“The most dangerous madmen are those created by religion, and people whose aim is to disrupt society always know how to make good use of them on occasion.”</i> -- Diderot<br />
<br />
In light of the recent attacks on the embassy and consular staffs in Cairo and Benghazi, the truth of these statements is made loud and clear. While it would be wrong to blame Islam for the actions of it’s adherents, it is completely accurate to blame the clerics and religious leaders – as well as some heads of state – for the rabid anti-American fanaticism which has infected much of the Muslim world. The firebrand interpretations of the Quran and the ignorant trend of blaming the west for all the woes of Islam are the tools of the dangerous madmen Diderot warned about in the 18th century.<br />
<br />
Sam Bacile, reported to be an Israeli-born American citizen, practiced his right to freedom of expression and speech in writing, producing and directing the two hour movie in which Mohammed, the revered prophet of Islam, is depicted as a fraud, a womanizer and a madman. While Bacile has gone into hiding to avoid reprisals, the clerics and leaders of the Muslim world have used this opportunity to whip it’s followers into a rabid hate-fueled frenzy that has culminated in the death of 4 American citizens in Benghazi. Instead of directing their wrath at the perpetrator of the insult, they have seized upon this incident to further their religious and fanatical attacks against the west. That having been said, Mr. Bacile may have had the right to produce his hate-filled movie, but having the right to do something doesn’t necessarily make your actions or behaviors “right.” By carelessly exercising his freedoms, Bacile has provided a few psychotic and delusional clerics and leaders of Islam an excuse to incite their followers into attacks on citizens of a sovereign nation – citizens who were as innocent of offense as the occupants of the World Trade Centers and Pentagon were on the morning of 9/11.<br />
<br />
Extreme fundamentalism has led to innumerable human atrocities committed in the name of Allah, Mohammed, Jesus, Mary, Jehovah, Vishnu, Buddha or Joseph. Throughout history, every religious movement has committed heinous acts of violence against those whom have been deemed heretics or heathens. Whether we’re talking about the Jewish conquests in Canaan, the Crusades, the Huguenot purges, the Spanish Inquisition, the Mountain Meadows Massacre, the rise of the Ottoman Empire, the Holocaust, the ethnic cleansings in Serbia, the 9/11 attacks, or this latest series of attacks in Libya and Egypt, one common thread runs through them all: the crimes have all been committed by people who have been duped into believing that their particular brand of social delusion is superior to another’s preferred mass hysteria.<br />
<br />
<i>Every</i> religion seems to claim that their god is a “god of love,” and yet, as Blaise Pascal said, “men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction.” It seems to me that it isn’t so much an issue of god or gods, as an issue of religion and the madness it inspires in people <i>who allow others to do their thinking for them</i>.<br />
<br />
Before we, as Americans, get all indignant towards Muslims, we should carefully consider our own beliefs and the unethical and questionable behaviors which have been carried out by the practitioners and followers of our many religions, and ask ourselves if we are really different? All religious movements are guilty of the same types of crimes – every last one of them. These recent attacks were wrong, and as a sovereign nation, we should respond decisively to them. The radicalized Muslims who committed these crimes should be hunted down and brought to justice – <i>and so should every religious practitioner and cleric </i>– of whatever stripe – who uses religion to inspire violence and intolerance towards another human being.<br />
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Religion is pabulum for a weak mind. Instead of asking yourself, “What Would Jesus Do?” or Jehovah, or Allah, or (*insert your favorite god here), perhaps the question all of us should be asking is this: “Is this how I should be treating another human being?” Until we, as a society, can successfully eliminate religion – not FAITH, but religion – we’ll never see the kind of world or society religion deceptively promises.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-4081034093818816072012-05-29T18:49:00.000-06:002012-05-29T19:05:16.473-06:00A Change of My Viewpoint...Denis Diderot, a philosopher from the mid 18th century said,<b> "There are things I cannot force. <i>I</i> must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed<i> is a change of my viewpoint</i>."</b> I think this quote accurately sums up the transformation my mind has been going through over the last couple of years. In fact, I can't think of anything that captures it quite so well. Part of me has been calling it "an awakening." Another part of me may have cataloged it a "coming of age," or a "seasoning of my senses." But whatever it is - however it is properly called, it can best be said that I have experienced "... a change of my viewpoint."<br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--KwjCwviwJQ/T8VhOkjA68I/AAAAAAAAAec/O7IQwyAd--Y/s1600/Louis-Michel_van_Loo_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/--KwjCwviwJQ/T8VhOkjA68I/AAAAAAAAAec/O7IQwyAd--Y/s320/Louis-Michel_van_Loo_001.jpg" width="257" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Portrait of Denis Diderot by<br />
Louis-Michel van Loo - 1767</td></tr>
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"There are Things I Cannot Force..."</h3>
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Doesn't it seem that our lives are one long drawn out experience of trying to force our surroundings, our loved ones, our fellow beings, or our circumstances into an ideal, or a vision of perfection? Typically, we have these ideals or visions thrust upon us through religion, society, familial expectations, breeding, social standing, or economics - to name a few. <i>Something</i> always seems to form the ideal. While I would have to concede that most of us have been successful to one degree or another in bending our circle of influence to our ideals, we have patently failed when it came to bending other beings - other <i>human </i>beings - to an ideal to which they were resistant. When this happens, we call them any number of descriptor - such as "heathens," "god-less," "unenlightened," "foolish," "blind," "stubborn," etc. Why is that?</div>
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I remember a time when I thought of some people whose life choices and preferences were different from mine, as being "reprobate," "foul," "unworthy of life," or "irredeemable." I remember viewing persons who would not accept my theology as being, "unsaved," "unwashed," "sheeple," "intentionally ignorant," and "blind." I've known people who viewed others whose skin color wasn't the same as theirs as being "unvaliant," "lazy," "slothful," "dirty," "foul," and "inferior." I've seen people who treat others less economically well off as being "from the wrong side of the tracks," "unworthy of help," "getting what they deserve," "leeches," "drains on our economy," or "reprobates, unwilling to get off their asses and work." </div>
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When I think of the amount of time I've wasted in my life trying to force others into my ideal, I find myself shaking my head, and mourning the loss of time when I could have been <b><i>living</i></b>. When I could have been <b><i>enjoying </i></b>the people for who they are. When I could have <b><i>been a light</i></b>.</div>
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<i>"I</i> Must Adjust..."</h3>
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I suppose the best way for me to say this - and to reach the largest portion of people to whom I know will read this - I will use a word typically used as a weapon and a tool of the religious - and that word is <b style="font-style: italic;">repent.</b> For me to expect others to change towards me - to fit into the mold I have created, or the way of thinking to which I subscribe, would be futile. I'd be trying to <i>force</i> someone to think like I do. It is <i>I</i> who must adjust. To repent is to "recognize the wrong in something you have done, and be sorry about it" (Encarta Dictionary). So, without offense to my religious friends, I will co-opt this word - repent - and say that I recognize I've been wrong in so many ways and in so many things in my life - and I'm sorry for it. In other words, I repent. It is I who must adjust. Now don't get me wrong here - I'm not going to confessional and flailing my back with chains as I crawl on my knees to show remorse to any god or religion - instead, I'm meekly, and humbly saying I must adjust my viewpoint. I have been wrong. I repent - that is to say, I recognize I've been wrong and I'm sorry for it.</div>
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As I was driving to work this morning listening to NPR, I was struck by the horror and savagery of the world in which we live. The newscaster was talking about a recent massacre carried out on innocents in another country, on another continent - a world away - by people who would prefer to force their views and their religious zealotry and their intolerance on the people of their own country. As I listened, the thought came unbidden into my mind that <i>we fear what we can't control and the only way to eliminate that fear is to cease our attempts to exercise control and to adjust our viewpoint of what we fear.</i> Now I know I'm not breaking any new ground here, and there are plenty of others much more qualified to explain that thought than I am - but it stuck me as being pretty profound.<i> I must adjust</i>. I must change how I see what scares me, what I can't change, what I can't force.</div>
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"There are Times When the Greatest Change Needed is a Change of my Viewpoint!"</h3>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5Oi8_KkwwaY/T8VoXQjSGoI/AAAAAAAAAeo/S88AXSzfyeU/s1600/Walking_away_Haris_Bagzic%5B1%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-5Oi8_KkwwaY/T8VoXQjSGoI/AAAAAAAAAeo/S88AXSzfyeU/s320/Walking_away_Haris_Bagzic%5B1%5D.jpg" width="214" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">From thelondondiaries1.blogspot.com</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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I think one of the most liberating experiences of my life came a few years back when I realized that I didn't have to accept the reality I had always known, and that I could create my own. When I realized that just because I'd been told something all my life, it didn't make it true, and I was honestly scared. Scared? Yes. Suddenly, with that thought, it was though I had taken that first step out of a perfectly good airplane to skydive for the first time, or that first terrifying step backwards off a cliff to repel down it's face. All of my common sense told me that I was okay - that I'd checked, double-checked, and even triple-checked my equipment, and that I was safe, but inside of me, my irrational self was screaming in sheer terror and shitting it's pants. And, in keeping with the metaphor, when all was said and done, and I'd made it safely to the bottom of the cliff, and the chute opened and deposited me safely on terra-firma, I found a new and thrilling emotion welling up inside of me that made me feel like I could do anything! Conquer anything! Overcome anything! And yet, I hadn't stepped out of an airplane. I hadn't repelled off a cliff. I had simply <i>changed my viewpoint.</i> </div>
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I realize that this sounds simple - and not necessarily in the "easy" kind of way - but more in the "Mikey needs to wear a bicycle helmet for his own protection" kind of way. And it is because it's simple that it is wholly disregarded and neglected. How many of us have belonged to groups or mindsets that would have us only see the evil in the world around us and in our fellow man? To be bogged down in the traditions, the liturgies, the practices that have created the evil we abhor? How many of us have looked at our fellow man and judged them inferior or unworthy of our attentions and care because their skin was a different color, their clothing wasn't clean, their god wasn't <i>our</i> god, their values didn't match our own? How many opportunities for joy, peace, and mutual trust were lost because they were different? How many of us are in need of a simple change of viewpoint? I know I am. Let it begin with me.</div>
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<i>"There are things I cannot force. I must adjust. There are times when the greatest change needed is a change of my viewpoint." </i> Denis Diderot 1713 - 1784 </div>
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<br /></div>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-69963656969247262462012-05-20T09:27:00.000-06:002012-05-20T09:27:15.074-06:00Fighting the Janus Syndrome<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Janus is the Roman god of gates and
doors, starts and endings, and beginnings and transitions. He is typically
depicted in mythology, sculpture, and art as a two-faced figure, looking both
to the future, and to the past. The <i>Janus Syndrome</i> refers to a person who is
continually looking to their glorious past, or to their potentially glorious
future at the expense of missing their glorious present. Too often, I find
myself doing just this – especially when the current circumstances are
difficult, unpleasant, or uninteresting. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Curiously,
I didn’t know that there was a science-fiction book by the name of “The Janus
Syndrome” written by Stephen McDonald,
or that other people had actually used the term “Janus Syndrome” to
describe their struggle with living in the present, but they’re out there, and
only a Google search away. What I do find interesting however, is that the
title of this post would come to me unbidden, and with its concepts clearly
laid out in my mind. I find myself longing for my less-complicated past, while
waiting every day for things to get better and improve. </span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was so great
about it? Looking at my past</span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My past was
much less complicated than my present. I owe this to being more trusting and
accepting of ideals and philosophies thrust at me with conviction and fervor.
As a child I was raised in a highly religious community that almost made it
impossible to have a life without participating in that religion. Everything
from your circle of friends at school, to your employment opportunities were
often guided by and acted upon the religious community in which you lived. Lack
of participation was frowned upon, while over-participation was seen as an
admirable thing. Independent thinking and questioning of the status-quo was
discouraged and often viewed as the vehicle that would bring about your
spiritual and cultural destruction. In fact, one leader of the religion I
belonged to so strongly despised free-thinking, that he warned congregants
world-wide to be careful of being “counted amongst those who have
intellectualized themselves out of the church and thereby have brought upon
themselves swift destruction.” Of course, he was also part of the leadership
who instructed its members that “once the brethren have spoken, the thinking
has been done.” How could such restrictive thinking be “less complicated?”
Well, when you’re relieved of the responsibility of thinking for yourself, and
simply “walk by faith,” you are free to blindly accept the consequences of such
a behavior without accepting the responsibilities that came with it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Thankfully,
I divested myself of this religion almost thirty years ago, only to willingly
subject myself to another religious system which was only slightly less
restrictive. While continually being encouraged to study and seek for myself
what the “word of god” had to say about a subject, I was soundly shouted down
or sternly corrected should my conclusions differ from those to whom I had
given authority over and stewardship of in my life. Once more I found myself
having my opinion given to me rather than discovering it on my own through
thoughtful research and pondering. Some would call this experience jumping out
of the frying pan into the fire, and I’m inclined to agree with them. But it wasn’t
all bad. In fact, it was pretty comforting and satisfying to feel as though I
belonged and that I was right. But what it didn’t provide was clarity or
personal satisfaction.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> So why look
back with longing and emotion? I look back because I no longer have the comfort
and assurance of believing I was in the right, or being part of the chosen few. Those
feelings have been replaced with the realization that I am responsible for
myself, my own actions, my own behaviors towards others, and mostly, for my own
eternal future – whatever that may be. It can be daunting at times. It can feel
pretty damn heavy and overwhelming – if truth be told. I no longer have a
safety net. If something goes wrong with my life, I’m responsible! I can no
longer blame it on the will of some unseen god. It means I own my reality. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Fond
remembrances are a good thing. “Ah, the good old days,” means as much to me as
anyone, but living in the past – continually comparing your present to your
past achievements – is as debilitating as doing nothing at all. The past is the
past, and the future is being made right now by your present.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What’s going to be so
great then? Looking at my future</span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Human
beings are incurable optimists at times. It’s pounded into our thinking from a
young age, and we live in the hope of a better future our entire lives. The
whole, “The Sun’ll Come Out, Tomorrow” mentality is what gives us hope and
helps us get through another day. In fact, I just opened my fortune cookie with
dinner and it read, “Without hope, there is no tomorrow!” </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So it’s not a bad thing, per-se, but it can
sometimes turn our eyes away from the beauty of the moment we’re experiencing
now. Sometimes, it can be downright debilitating! How many times have we put
off facing our harsh realities in hopes of things improving tomorrow? I do it
all the time. How often do we invest our last dollar in the hopes of winning
the lottery – in spite of the tremendous odds against us hitting the jackpot? How often do
we long for the return of a god to set things right? How often do we hope that
maybe tomorrow the abuse will stop?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> We’ve all
heard it said that when a person is “without hope”, they’re done for, or that
we’d never get out of bed without the hope of a better day. We’ve all put our
dreams and desires on some future event, and chances are we’ve all been
disappointed for having done so. So what is the use of looking to the future? Continually
investing your dreams in some future event or success only lessens your ability
to see what is right before your eyes in the present. I am not suggesting that
a person not invest emotionally or mentally in their futures – there is a lot
of wisdom in visualizing success and then pursuing that dream – but what I am
saying is that I have been guilty of looking towards that future as a means of
avoiding the present, and as a means of escape. I’m no expert, but I can
imagine that this isn’t too healthy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Of course,
without dreaming of tomorrow, we’d be stagnant and unproductive. Many of the
technological advancements we enjoy would never have come to pass had someone
not dreamed about them in the past. Many of the life-saving medical
advancements are a direct result of someone dreaming of a future without sickness,
without disease, without pain and suffering. The future isn’t the problem – the
avoidance of the present is, and that is why the Janus Syndrome is so
dangerous.</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fighting to remain in
the moment</span></b></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because of
my tendency to view my past as such a good thing, and to hope that my tomorrows
are going to be so much better than my present, I find myself not participating
in the here and now. I keep waiting for things to get better, or for them to
change, and when they don’t, I turn back and remember how good they used to be –
the Janus Syndrome.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One excellent example of this in my
life is waiting until my wife graduates college and begins her practice as a
nurse practitioner to begin writing seriously. I have notebooks with tons of
ideas for stories in them, and they remain closed, waiting for some glorious time
in the future when “the time will be right.” Conversely, when I get discouraged
about not writing, I go out on the internet and re-read my blog posts and
marvel at how well-written they are, and how I seemed to be really doing
something with my life. Longing for a future situation while living in my past –
and all the while completely ignoring what is right in front of me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, my way of fighting my own
personal Janus Syndrome is that I am going to post this to my blog, and begin
writing again. I will be able to look back at this post and be encouraged to do
what I need to do now to make all those future possibilities come true. It
starts with living in the now, taking it one step, one post, one task at a
time, and enjoying the fruits of productivity and drive. I can do this. Thank
you past, look out future.</span></div>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-87999696475660879952011-08-07T21:12:00.002-06:002011-08-07T21:22:30.564-06:00I don't know what to call this...I've been waking up.<div><br /></div><div>Factually, I feel like I've been asleep for most of my adult life. But something is happening.</div><div><br /></div><div>Ever have one of those days when the sound your alarm clock makes is somehow integral to your dream? You know... that persistent and repeating buzz is actually the warning klaxon letting you know you only have 20 seconds left to disarm the nuclear bomb... ARGH! IS IT THE BLUE WIRE OR THE RED WIRE! WHY CAN'T I EVER REMEMBER?!?! </div><div><br /></div><div>Well, something has been "going off" in the back of my mind for some time now - and I'm only now realizing that it's really an alarm - not "an ALARM!!!", but a "notification" - a touch - from somewhere outside of myself. From somewhere else; from some time else. </div><div><br /></div><div>A part of my "soul"... my "me", my "inner me" is stirring. It's stretching, yawning, and looking for its metaphysical cup of coffee... and it's pulling the covers off of my eyes and whispering quietly in my sleeping ears, "wake up sleepy head... IT is passing you by..."</div><div><br /></div><div>Puzzle pieces are falling into place... and there is room for all of them... And pieces which I'd forced into place are flying away. </div><div><br /></div><div>What is that buzzing in my soul? What is that gentle whisper in my mind? What is that "old" and "familiar" feeling that seems to be brushing aside cobwebs?</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know.</div><div><br /></div><div>I don't know what to call this.</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe I'm beginning to live for the first time in a very long time.</div>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-76393072291842554872011-04-25T18:29:00.006-06:002011-04-25T19:01:25.129-06:00Thoughts Post-EasterThis year was the first time that I've passed an Easter away from a church and away from a body of believers in a very long time. I did have some regret, and some longing for the days when that was the norm rather the exception. But more than anything, I felt relief.<div><br /></div><div>I suppose that a little explanation is called for.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since the debacle with "that" church, and since we shut down Shiloh, I've been increasingly aware of the fact that the majority of the people who I'd looked up to in my life, or who I always thought were good "Christian" people, were actually some of the most two-faced, evil people I've ever known. Now before you get your judgmental panties all up in a wad let me just say this - No. No? Yes, NO, I am not blaming everyone else for my lack of a Christian walk right now. And, NO, I am not saying that it's their fault that I'm not in fellowship. And finally, NO, it's not your place to judge whether, in fact, I was actually saved to begin with. THAT having been said, let me continue: After having gone through the hell we did at "that" church, and even with Shiloh, I decided that for the most part, "sinners", the unsaved, the heathens, the pagans, the unwashed masses were actually and truthfully, more forgiving, more accepting, more loving, and just kinder all around than the majority of people who confessed their undying Christ-like love for me. Perhaps that is why Jesus chose those very kinds of people to hang out with?</div><div><br /></div><div>In all honesty, I've missed walking with God. But whenever I consider trying to find a body of believers again, or when I think of putting myself in a position to play the "I'm GREAT! Ain't God GOOD?" game, I get sick down inside. I've walked a long way in this desert I've been in, and I think I understand some of the need for a purging, a purification if you will, of what Christianity has become at the hands of pastors and teachers in this sad and pathetic day and age. Men who would look you in the eye and tell you "it's a privilege to serve God," all the while stealing the money from the offering plate to satisfy their own material greed. Or men who are so uninspired by the Word of God that they have to tell the same, worn, useless stories over and over because they aren't being filled with the "light" they blather on about. People who claim to love and support you, as long as they can dictate how you'll live every waking moment of your life. Sad people. Evil people. Masked people. </div><div><br /></div><div>Now, no matter how sincere and genuine a person is, my heart asks me quietly if they're really that way - or if they're hiding something. I found I was always waiting for the other shoe to fall, and the mask to come off, and the "real" person to come out. I suppose you could say that my trust was shot to hell.</div><div><br /></div><div>Now, it's true of any religion that they'll tell you the same thing: Don't look at the people in the church, keep your eye on God. But let me ask you this - if we're to be the hands of God, the feet, the mouth, the heart of God, shouldn't a real transformation change the people who are representing him? I've met a few people who I would honestly classify as "Christ-like." Just a few. Some are Christians, some are Mormons, some are Buddhists, some are Hare Krishnas - So there isn't just one "recipe" to Christ-likeness. But there is one thing they all have in common, and that's an innate sense of integrity and humility. Something I thought I possessed, and something I thought I taught. Maybe I don't have it, and maybe I didn't understand it enough to teach it - but being away from "god", and being away from "Christians" has brought me to a point where I can pass an Easter without a sunrise service, and not feel like shit about it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, I miss God. I even wonder if he misses me - but I don't miss his people. Sure, I'm painting with a broad brush - I get that. Maybe some of you might be offended by this. If that's so, then accept my sincere apology. But if nothing else, maybe this post will have caused you to think a little bit more about the life you claim to live, and with this season of Spring and renewal, make a pledge to be a little more real about your faith - whatever it is - and ask yourself if you're serving God or serving your ego, your pride, your tradition, your "family heritage", your hypocrisy or just yourself.</div><div><br /></div><div>Yes, I miss God. But while I've been "missing" God, I think I've found a truer taste of God in my solitude and distance.</div><div><br /></div><div>Happy Easter.</div>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-9475228724130713012011-04-11T18:58:00.002-06:002011-04-11T19:01:58.600-06:00A brief statement on homosexualityWow. wow. You know, the more I grow, the less I know. The more I think I know, the less I grow. When I was pastoring, I thought I knew what the Word said. I thought I understood what God wanted of me - of us. Now, I don't know. I don't understand. But I am growing.<br /><br />I want God to be real. I want to feel like I'm part of something more than just cosmic dust and chance. I want to find my purpose in life outside of myself, and I want to serve other people some how. But if there is anything I've learned over the last little while, it's this: I can do all of this, and not include religion in one single bit of it. No, I'm not saying the well-worn phrase, "It's about a relationship, not religion." I'm saying I don't know the answer, I'm saying I want to be a person I'd want to know, and I'm saying I want to make a difference for good in this world. Do I have to be a Christian to do that? No. Will I choose that route because of my past and my experience, and my comfort level? Likely. But does it have to look like what other people tell me it is? Not at all.<br /><br />I'll bet Jesus wouldn't care if I were gay (though I'm not). If he was willing to lay aside all pretense and tradition to touch a leper, why would he look at my sexuality and make any other judgment than he did with the leper when he said, "I am willing." ? Corruption, either through the body, or through sin, or through poor choices, or through harsh words, or through open rebellion always results in the same thing: corruption. And not one of us is free from that. So, what makes one person's corruption less corrupt than an others? Pride. Self-righteousness. Judgment.<br /><br />God make me free from them all.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-91263545601228768682010-04-18T16:34:00.001-06:002010-04-18T16:34:30.313-06:00This guy must know our cat!<object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/w0ffwDYo00Q&rel=0&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/w0ffwDYo00Q&rel=0&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-20907181817865680002010-03-28T08:33:00.001-06:002010-03-28T08:34:28.675-06:00Talk about a comment on our society!<br /><br />WARNING... this has some language... but it's worth it!<br /><br /><object width="400" height="265"><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><param name="movie" value="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=10149605&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1"><embed src="http://vimeo.com/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=10149605&server=vimeo.com&show_title=1&show_byline=1&show_portrait=0&color=&fullscreen=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always" width="400" height="265"></embed></object><p><a href="http://vimeo.com/10149605">Logorama</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/user3365583">Marc Altshuler - Human Music</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com">Vimeo</a>.</p>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-48944905040729756332010-01-03T19:24:00.003-07:002010-01-03T19:58:30.199-07:00New Years' is No Time for ResolutionsI took some time today to set some goals for myself for the coming year.<br /><br />Notice I didn't call them "resolutions." Why? Well, the nature of a resolution is to see its fulfillment NOW... think about how congress passes laws - "... it is hereby resolved..." "... the context of this resolution is to bring about..." It means that you decide that it WILL be... and worse still, it WILL be NOW!<br /><br />I couldn't put that kind of pressure on myself. It's hard enough to think about 2010 being here already without putting myself in a no-win situation by "resolving" to somehow control my life - even in little bits. I have to laugh... "Space - 2010" was the SEQUEL to "Space Odyssey 2001!" We were supposed to be exploring deep space by now, and as a nation we can hardly keep our citizens employed and productive! (I'm not even going to talk about living on the moon ala "Space 1999" ) See what I mean? I'm certain that someone, somewhere RESOLVED to be exploring deep space by 2001... or someone RESOLVED to have a viable colony on the moon by 1999... and you can see where that ended up - RIGHT? NO SIR... no resolutions for me. Just simple goals.<br /><br />Why did I choose the word "goal" rather than "resolution?" Some would argue they're one in the same - but I'd have to disagree. Typically, a goal can be broken down into "bite-size" steps that make the overall chance of successfully reaching that goal higher. My goals sound an awful lot like some of your resolutions for this year, but I don't feel intimidated, and set up for failure. (You know, that sure sounds like I'm giving myself an out - doesn't it?)<br /><br />I made 5 simple goals for myself to achieve this year:<br /><ol><li>Watch less television - I've been making this goal every year for as long as I can remember... in fact, I think I've made this goal every month of every year, and maybe even every week of every month of every year. Needless to say, it's a MUCH NEEDED goal!</li><li>Read/write more - Mark Twain said, "A man who won't read good books has nothing over a man who can't read good books." I don't ever want that said of me. Additionally, I've been given a gift when it comes to writing. I don't know why I don't do more of it - and hence, the goal to not only read more, but to write more as well. This past year has been a rough one for me and my family - but it's time to put some normality back into our lives.</li><li>Eat better - Fact of the matter is, I'm not liking the middle-aged spread that's beginning to happen to me - and more than that, I haven't felt too great. I know a lot of it has to do with what, and HOW I eat. Time to take a serious look at this area of my life - for the first time in my life.</li><li>Lose weight and exercise - I know, I know... been there, done that... didn't work out too well. I've always agreed with St. Paul in the bible when he said that "physical exercise profits the body little..." and have always thought the only kind of running you should do is from the law or your ex-wife - but I can't keep going the way I am. All the years taking opiate narcotics are behind me now, and though I've still got pain and something going on with my skeleton, I can exercise. So - I'm busting out the bike, and going to actually do it this year. And finally,<br /></li><li>Play more music. I used to tell my sweetheart that I'd rather go blind than lose my hearing. Music was that important to me. Well, needless to say, the last few years have sort of taken the wind out of my sails in every area of my life. My music has suffered along with my reading, writing, exercising, and dieting (like how I tied them all together there?). I love music. I love playing my guitar and mandolin... there is no reason on earth I shouldn't be play more, with friends, and for God. Enough said.</li></ol>Now, as I said, goals can be broken down into wonderful "bite-size" chunks that make "eating the elephant one bite at a time" a little easier. I'm not saying, "as of right this moment I am going to ... blah blah blah." That would only be setting myself up for failure. But, by taking each of my goals and writing sub-goals, and sub-sub-goals, or steps if you'd prefer - I think I have an actual fighting chance of coming out of 2010 a little healthier, better read, creative, thinner, and filled with more music.<br /><br />And here's the kicker. If I drop the ball along the way, I drop the ball along the way. The nice thing about dropping the ball is this: if you don't accidentally kick it as it slips from your hands, it generally stays fairly close to where it fell, and is just begging to be picked back up!<br /><br />So I did it. I made some attainable goals for myself to achieve in the year we were supposed to be exploring deep space and listening to HAL as he tells me, "I'm sorry Michael. I'm afraid I can't do that." HAL may not be able to dot "THAT"... but I can. One step at a time.<br /><br />Here's to me, and to a new year that outshines that last one. And I hope and pray the same can be said for you as well.<br /><br />It's a journey - and with every one I've been on, they all start with a single step.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-12230792966504674902009-10-09T09:46:00.004-06:002009-10-09T09:54:49.145-06:00Get Off Your Knees<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Ss9cYXCdWOI/AAAAAAAAAbk/efYjyRFdiy8/s1600-h/getoffknees_golf.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 175px; height: 387px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Ss9cYXCdWOI/AAAAAAAAAbk/efYjyRFdiy8/s400/getoffknees_golf.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5390628852556716258" border="0" /></a>I got to see one of the most amazing documentaries today. It's called, <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">"Get Off Your Knees - The John Robinson Story."</span> It's about a man that was born without arms from the elbows down, and with VERY short legs. It was such an inspirational story! You can check out the site here: <a href="http://www.wmht.org/index.php?s=1&b=10&p=77">http://www.wmht.org/index.php?s=1&b=10&p=77 </a><br /><br />After seeing this amazing man's story this morning, I feel so convicted about how I've viewed my own issues in life. I'm grateful that there are people out there who don't let their physical challenges become limitations. I think all of us can take a page from this man's life and apply it to our own.<br /><br />Thanks John for being so inspiring!<br /><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Image from www.wmht.org</span>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-87176979205793356112009-09-29T11:34:00.003-06:002009-09-29T12:08:12.054-06:00Bear Grylls has NOTHIN' on me!I've got so much to do, and I've got so many directions I'm running, I had to just stop before I continued, and share an experience and a picture with you!<br /><br />About a week ago, Chris, Zach and I were up Little Cottonwood canyon, looking at the fall leaves. While we were there, Zach and I went off to explore, and found a great place that had three fallen logs over the river. As I was standing near the bank on one of these logs, I lost my balance and put my foot behind me to catch myself. Instead of coming down on hard ground however, I ended up stepping into a hole filled with dead pine branches. As I fell back, I hit a tree pretty hard with my back, and was momentarily stunned. When I tried to move however, something was holding my leg in place. I yanked my leg out of the hole, and as I did, a resounding "dead wood" "SNAP" was heard, and suddenly I was free. As I walked away, my calf was burning and I knew I'd scratched it up pretty bad. What I didn't realize is that I'd impaled myself on a branch, and had broken off the tip INSIDE MY LEG!<br /><br />I reached down to see what I'd done, and ran into the branch, which was about as big around as a 10 penny nail. As I tried to pull it out, I realized it wasn't jammed in there under the surface of my skin like a big sliver, but instead, it had punctured STRAIGHT into my leg just below my calf muscle! The stick was about an inch and a half long, and was completely jammed in my leg, leaving less than a eighth of an inch sticking out. As Zach turned several shades of pale, I began trying to pull it out - but it didn't want to cooperate, and I finally had to grit my teeth, and scream while I yanked it out. Zach and I burst out in hysterical laughter, and both agreed it was one of the coolest things we'd ever seen!<br /><br />After it was out, I probed the wound again, and found ANOTHER smaller branch just below it - also sticking straight into my leg. I wasn't able to grab that one, so using my trusty Leatherman, Zach grabbed on to it, and pulled it from my leg. It was only about three-quarters of an inch long, but still as thick as a framing nail! Once all the sticks were out, I pinched and pushed on it to make it bleed really well, then washed it off in the river (yes, your watershed... you can thank me later!)<br /><br />Zach and I were totally thrilled by the experience, and both agree it was one of the coolest, manliest things I've ever done... Sick huh? LOL... I have to admit I did feel a little like Rambo when he had to sew himself up. I'm just glad I didn't pass out.<br /><br />I got home and washed it well with anti-bacterial soap, and filled the hole with triple-anti-biotic ointment, and it's healing up just fine. It's not something I want to ever experience again, and I'm grateful it didn't hit anything vital, but come on... how many times in your life do you get to pull a branch out of your leg while screaming your war-cry into the surrounding forest? If I could grunt like Tim the Tool Man, I would! It was a very cool experience!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/SsJMWyQn7LI/AAAAAAAAAbc/tNVDCgHbiSQ/s1600-h/Puncture+Point.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/SsJMWyQn7LI/AAAAAAAAAbc/tNVDCgHbiSQ/s400/Puncture+Point.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5386952058620865714" border="0" /></a>Where I was impaled by two sticks<br /><br /></div>Talk about a journey! HOLY COW!Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-26071174036455220242009-09-01T10:02:00.005-06:002009-09-01T11:09:24.482-06:00A confession... Tsk tsk tsk....I know that everyone comes to a point in their lives with their relationship with God where they want to just throw their hands up and say, "F*** it - that's it... No more - I'm done." Mine came over a week ago, and as hard as I tried to be a non-believer, it didn't work. Damnit.<br /><br />Are you shocked? I am. Why did I do it? Well, it's a long story, but it basically comes down to the frustrations of seeing every one of my family members declare they want nothing to do with God, with "Christianity", or especially, and I'm guilty here too - with Christians in general. It's all sort of a cumulative effect - being burned by people who are in positions of spiritual leadership and authority, being accused of things that you'd not only NEVER think to do, let alone accomplish the act, being railroaded into doing things that go against your nature because you felt you had no choice, and finally, being horribly judged by people who are SUPPOSED to love you MORE than judge you, and especially trying to hang on to my faith when I feel completely alone, and judged for wanting to keep the flame alive.<br /><br />It finally came to a head the other night, and I decided that nothing, or more specifically, NO ONE is worth the hell and pain I'm going through trying to hold on to a dying flame. I've watched as all of my kids have expressed their disdain and disgust with "...Christians" who are nothing more than judgmental a**holes with nothing better to do than meddle in others lives - instead of looking after the proverbial "log" in their own eyes." I've seen my beloved's faith get rocked to the point where she trusts NO ONE who calls themselves a believer... and I've seen something that used to be such an amazingly "uniting" aspect of our relationship die on the vine.<br /><br />Frankly, it has pissed me off.<br /><br />And by way of a disclaimer, I know we're not pure as the driven snow, and we've had our times of failure, but I can say with a VERY clear conscience, that those times of failure came only after doing all we could to live with integrity and honesty, and finally no longer being able to control our hurt, disgust, disbelief and anger.<br /><br />So, while I didn't give God the finger - as it were, I did pack up all my books and notes, and put them on the shelf - FULLY intending on getting boxes and putting them away, or throwing them all away, and no longer believing. While the thought of throwing out any book bothers me, I was willing to 86 all my bibles, commentaries, studies, and literally ANY thing that may have something to do with Christianity. In my mind, KARMA - doing unto others as I'd want them to do to me - was going to be the behavior of the day, but completely without God. No more. No how. No way.<br /><br />Then, I made the mistake of reading something I wrote some time ago... Here on this blog in fact. Earlier this year I wrote an entry called, "Just HOW important is faith?" which contained the scripture reference from Isaiah 7:9 which says, "Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm."<br /><br />DAMNIT God! WHY did you say that? WHY did I write that? WHY did I read that? ARGHHHH!<br /><br />I read that passage over and over... and couldn't get it out my head. "Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm." And then the internal arguments started: "God? Unless MY faith is firm? WHAT?" "Why don't YOU make MY faith firm?" "Why do I have to have firm faith?" "Why don't YOU just make my faith firm?" "My faith is in the toilet... how's that for firm?"<br /><br />And yet, the words still spoke to my hurting, defiant, pain-filled, and angry heart - "Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm." Shit. That means it's a failing in ME! That means that in spite of everything that's hurt me, and everything that's made me angry, and everything that's grieved my heart, it's still up to me to keep my faith alive - and "established" as some translations say. I didn't like that thought. Inside of me I began making excuses... "It's too much to ask at this point..." "What good is being the only one in my family who is trying?" "What good does having firm faith do, when people who are clearly lacking in faith, morals, humility, and honestly are still prospering and seeing success in their lives?" "What's in it for me?"<br /><br />I KNOW I'm not alone in feeling like this... and yet, "Unless your faith is firm..." It makes me want to scream out, "SHUT UP GOD! - HOW COULD YOU KNOW OR UNDERSTAND?" "YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY KNOW WHAT IT IS I'M GOING THROUGH, LET ALONE TALKING ABOUT!"<br /><br />And yet, the passage remained, stubbornly replaying like a bad audio loop, "unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm." Ouch. And even more painful was the realization that He CAN possibly know. He CAN understand. And even worse, He cares that I'm in this crisis. And, if that's true, then I have a responsibility to respond to Him... and I have a need to make my faith firm. Oh crap. Another painful round of confession and repentance is in my future. I hate that.<br /><br />This isn't the first time my own words have been used against me. And it likely won't be the last either - sad to say. So last night I pulled my favorite bible down from the shelf where it had been relegated to sit until I threw it away, and flipped it open to Isaiah, and had to eat a little crow, and try to wipe some spiritual "egg" off my face. Exactly HOW to firm up my faith isn't really clear to me - as there is no magic bullet to do so - but I know there are things that build faith - and one of them isn't throwing a temper-tantrum when life is handing me "faith firming" turds that taste like gravel in my mouth, or causing me more pain than I want to deal with.<br /><br />So I wearily climbed back on the horse last night. God and I haven't had the "woodshed" moment yet, but I know it's coming. I know I deserve it. And who knows, maybe my butt will be firm enough that it won't hurt as bad as everything did to drive me to this point.<br /><br />"Unless your faith is firm, I cannot make you stand firm."<br /><br />Abba, I believe. Help my unbelief - PLEASE.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-64758051773666580602009-08-31T08:09:00.002-06:002009-08-31T08:12:19.927-06:00Another Person's View on Life, and What it Can Throw at You...I found this on Christianity Today...<br /><br /><div style="font-weight: bold;" class="title">Three Gifts for Hard Times</div> <div class="deck">What I've learned as life has taken a turn for what most people think is the worst.</div> <div class="byline"><b>William J. Stuntz</b><span class="text2"> | </span>posted 8/28/2009 09:36AM</div><br /><p class="text"> <strong>S</strong>urvivors of some horrible plague or battle often find themselves wracked with guilt: Why did I live while so many died? Though I had no battle scars, I used to feel a similar sense of guilt. I married the only woman I've ever loved. We have three terrific children. I have a secure job that I love and that pays well. Sometimes I would ask God: Why have you been so kind to me? Why have I gotten such an easy life?</p> <p class="text">I don't ask those questions anymore. </p> <p class="text">A little over nine years ago, while driving home from a family vacation, my car got a flat tire. When I started to change it, something nasty happened at the base of my back. Ever since, my lower back and the top half of my right leg have hurt. After two operations, dozens of injections, physical therapy, psychotherapy, and thousands of pills, my back and right leg hurt every waking moment, and most of those moments, they hurt a lot. Living with chronic pain is like having an alarm clock taped to your ear with the volume turned up—and you can't turn it down. You can't run from it; the pain goes where you go and stays where you stay. Chronic pain is the unwelcome guest who will not leave when the party is over.</p> <p class="text">A few months after my back turned south, my family and I moved when I accepted a job at Harvard Law School. Our family began to unravel. One of our children suffered a life-threatening disease, and my marriage fell apart.</p> <p class="text">Those crises faded with time but left deep scars. Early last year, in February 2008, another piece of bad news struck me: Doctors found a large tumor in my colon; a month later, films turned up tumors in both of my lungs. In the past year, I've had two cancer surgeries and six months of intensive chemotherapy. I've been off chemo for a few months, but I'm still nauseous much of the time and exhausted most of the time. Cancer kills, but cancer treatment takes a large bite out of one's pre-diseased life, as though one were dying in stages. Some of that stolen life returns when the treatment stops. But only some.</p> <p class="text">Today, my back and especially my right leg hurt as much as they ever have, and the odds are overwhelming that they will hurt for as long as this life lasts. Cancer will very probably kill me within the next two years. I'm 50 years old.</p> <p class="text">Such stories are common, yet widely misunderstood. Two misunderstandings are worth noting here. First, illness does not beget virtue. Cancer and chronic pain make me sick; they don't make me good. I am who I was, only more diseased. Second, though I deserve every bad thing that has ever happened to me, those things didn't happen <em>because</em> I deserve them. Life in a fallen world is more arbitrary than that. Plenty of people deserve better from life than I do, but get much worse. Some deserve worse and get much better. Something important follows: The question we are most prone to ask when hardship strikes—why me?—makes no sense. That question presupposes that pain, disease, and death are distributed according to moral merit. They aren't. We live in a world in which innocent children starve while moral monsters prosper. We may see justice in the next life, but we see little of it in this one.</p> <p class="text">Thankfully, God gives better and more surprising gifts to those living in hard times. Three gifts are especially sweet.</p> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="subhead">Redeeming Curses</span><br /><p class="text">First, God usually doesn't remove life's curses. Instead, he redeems them.</p> <p class="text">Joseph's story makes this point. Joseph was victimized by two horrible injustices: one at the hands of his brothers who sold him into slavery, the other thanks to Potiphar's wife, who falsely accused him of attempted rape. God did not undo these injustices; they remained real and awful. Instead, God used those wrongs to prevent a much worse one: mass starvation. When Joseph later met with his brothers, he said this about the transaction that started the train rolling: "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good." That doesn't mean that slavery and unjust imprisonment <em>are</em> good; rather, the point is that they <em>produced</em> good, and the good they produced was larger than the wickedness that was visited upon Joseph. Evil was twisted back on itself, like a gun barrel turned so that it aims at the would-be murderer firing the weapon.</p> <p class="text">Joseph's story foreshadows the central story of the Gospels. The worst day in human history was the day of Christ's crucifixion, which saw the worst possible punishment inflicted on the One who, in all history, least deserved it. Two more sunrises and the Son rose: the best day in human history, the day God turned death itself against itself—and because he did so, each one of us has the opportunity to share in death's defeat.</p> <p class="text">That is our God's trademark. Down to go up, life from death, beauty from ugliness: the pattern is everywhere.</p> <p class="text">That familiar pattern is also a great gift to those who suffer disease and loss—the loss may remain, but good will come from it, and the good will be larger than the suffering it redeems. Our pain is not empty; we do not suffer in vain. When life strikes hard blows, what we do has value. Our God sees it.</p> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="subhead">A change in suffering's character</span><br /><p class="text">The second gift is often missed, because it lives in salvation's shadow. Amazing as the greatest of all gifts is, God the Son does more than save sinners. Jesus' life and death also change the character of suffering, give it dignity and weight and even, sometimes, a measure of beauty. Cancer and chronic pain remain ugly things, but the enterprise of living with them is <em>not</em> an ugly thing. God's Son so decreed it when he gave himself up to torture and death.</p> <p class="text">Two facts give rise to that conclusion. First, Jesus is beautiful as well as good. Second, suffering is ugly as well as painful. Talk to those who suffer medical conditions like mine and you'll hear this refrain: Even the best-hidden forms of pain and disease have a reality that is almost tactile, as though one could touch or taste them. And those conditions are foul, like the sound of fingernails on a blackboard or the smell of a cornered skunk. Some days, I feel as if I were wearing clothes soaked in sewage.</p> <p class="text">Some days—but not most days, thanks to the manner of Jesus' life and death. Imagine Barack Obama putting on a bad suit or Angelina Jolie wearing an ugly dress. The suit wouldn't look bad, and that dress wouldn't be ugly. These are incredibly attractive people whose attractiveness spills over onto their clothing, changing its meaning and the way other people respond to it. If Obama or Jolie wear it, it's a good-looking outfit. If they wear it often enough, it becomes a good-looking outfit even when you or I wear it. God's Son did something similar by taking physical pain on his divine yet still-human person. He did not render pain itself beautiful. But his suffering made the enterprise of living with pain and illness larger and better than it had been before. He elevates all he touches. Just as his years of carpentry in Joseph's shop lend dignity and value to all honest work, so too the pain he bore lends dignity and value to every pain-filled day human beings live.</p> <p class="text"> <span class="citation">The Shawshank Redemption</span> is about a prisoner convicted of a murder he didn't commit. That prisoner escapes by crawling through a sewer line until he's outside the prison's walls. The narrator describes the transaction this way: "He crawled through a river of [dung] and came out clean on the other side." God the Son did that, and he did it for the likes of me—so that I, too, and many more like me, might come out clean on the other side. That truth doesn't just change my life after I die. It changes my life here, now.</p> <span style="font-weight: bold;" class="subhead">The God Who Remembers</span><br /><p class="text">The third gift is the most remarkable. Our God remembers even his most forgettable children. But that memory is not the dry, lifeless thing we feel when one or another old friend comes to mind. More like the passion one feels at the sight of a lover. When Jesus was dying, one of the two convicts crucified with him said this: "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom" (Luke 23:42). Jesus responded by telling him that he would be in paradise that very day. As we use the word <em>remember</em>, that story sounds off, as though the thief on the cross and the Son of God were talking past each other.</p> <p class="text">The story sounds off because to us, <em>remembrance</em> merely means "recall"—I remember when I connect a student's name to her face, or when I can summon up some fact or the image of some past event. That kind of remembrance is a sterile enterprise, lacking both action and commitment.</p> <p class="text">In the Bible, remembrance usually combines two meanings: first, holding the one who is remembered close in the heart, and second, acting on the memory. When God repeatedly tells the people of Israel to remember that he brought them out of Egypt, he is saying much more than "get your history right." A better paraphrase would go like this: "Remember that I have loved you passionately. Remember that I have acted on that love. Hold tight to that memory, and act on it too."</p> <p class="text">Job understood the concept. Speaking with God about what would follow his own death, Job utters these words: "You will call and I will answer you; you will long for the creature your hands have made. Surely then you will count my steps but not keep track of my sin" (14:15-16). Notice how memory and longing are fused. Job longs to be free of his many pains, which occupy his mind like a sea of unwanted memories. God longs for relationship with Job, and Job knows it: hence, his belief that the Lord of the universe remembers each of his steps. He is the Lover who will not rest until his arms enfold the beloved. To Job, the curses Satan has sent his way are a mighty mountain that cannot be climbed, an enemy army that cannot be beaten. In the shadow of God's love, those curses are at once puny and powerless.</p> <p class="text">Philosophers and scientists and law professors (my line of work) are not in the best position to understand the Christian story. Musicians and painters and writers of fiction are much better situated—because the Christian story is a <em>story</em>, not a theory or an argument, and definitely not a moral or legal code. Our faith is, to use C. S. Lewis's apt words, the myth that became fact. Our faith is a painting so captivating that you cannot take your eyes off it. Our faith is a love song so achingly beautiful that you weep each time you hear it. At the center of that true myth, that painting, that song stands a God who does vastly more than remember his image in us. He pursues us as lovers pursue one another. It sounds too good to be true, and yet it <em>is</em> true. So I have found, in the midst of pain and heartache and cancer.</p> <p class="bio">William J. Stuntz is the Henry J. Friendly Professor at Harvard Law School.</p> <p class="copyright">Copyright © 2009 Christianity Today. <a href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/help/info.html#permission" class="copyright"> Click</a> for reprint information.</p>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-24403670540216518952009-08-26T13:11:00.003-06:002009-08-26T14:32:46.585-06:00A Whole New LifeAs I've struggled over the last eight years with diagnosis after diagnosis, and one pill after another, I realized today that what the Destroyer wanted to use for ill in my life, God has turned around and has used for His glory and His good in my life.<br /><br />For years now I've been walking around in what I like to jokingly refer to as an "opiated haze" - numb to feelings and emotions, deadened to smells, sounds, tastes and sights. I was putting too many spices on my food to give it taste - ANY taste; I was burying my nose in things to detect the subtlety in aromas; I was turning my head left and right trying to detect sounds that others had no problem hearing; and I was blinded to the simple things that make life worthwhile.<br /><br />As I've come off Morphine and Oxycodone, these senses have awakened with a <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">vengeance</span>! Suddenly coffee smelled so potent that I was unable to drink it, and my food began taking on tastes so foreign to me as to be virtually unpalatable. The phone and the alarm clock were painfully loud, and any light at all was too much light for my eyes. Soaps I'd used for years were suddenly overwhelming to my sense of smell. Music I'd loved became clamorous and jangling to my nerves. All in all, it was like living inside a odoriferous, sour, loud, light-filled Rubik's Cube - where every change and combination only served to heighten my discomfort.<br /><br />Chris explained this all to me from a physiological point of view, telling me that my cells had built up an exceptional amount of ectoplasmic reticuli - or some damn thing - in an attempt to filter out the poisons I was ingesting each time I faithfully took my daily meds, and that this additional "ER" - as she called it - suddenly found itself without a job, and was making ALL of my cells crave toxins so the stalwart ER would have something to do - hence my heightened and jangled senses.<br /><br />Needless to say, it's been less than fun, and more than challenging.<br /><br />But here's some amazing things: I've found out that I have been DRAMATICALLY over-medicated all these years. (And here you thought I was just slow on the up-take!). I've discovered that one-quarter of an oxycodone - a lowly 7.5mg - works as well as 200mg of Morphine PLUS TWO (2) 30mg Oxycodones on top of it! I've discovered that a small handful of Ibuprofen (affectionately called "Vitamin I") and a hot shower do more to relieve stiffness than popping a Zanaflex, or a Flexeril. I've discovered that being exhausted from a long day of helping others is a much better sleeping pill than Tamazapam or Lunesta. And - forgive me in advance - I've found that using the bathroom doesn't require Senecot, Docalax, or Milk of Magnesia - and that going every single day is a NORMAL thing. (I asked you to forgive me already!)<br /><br />On a different tack, I've also discovered that I REALLY can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Not that I recognized His strengthening hand in the midst of it all, but looking back on things, it's patently obvious. According to the Drug Abuse Warning Network (DAWN), an office within the US Department of Health and Human Services, and specifically, their Office of Applied Studies, opiate narcotics are the number ONE substance in drug related deaths in the United States. In 2007 alone, Salt Lake County - in our humble little white-bread Mormon outpost of a city - 19.3 deaths in every 100,000 people were directly attributed to opiate narcotics - be they accidental overdoses, suicides, or intentional poisonings! 1,067,722 people lived in Salt Lake County during 2007 - that means that 206 people died that year with opiates being the primary contributing cause. Statistics are sketchy on the number of them who died while in withdrawal, but a local center told me that the chances of experiencing a "life threatening emergency situation" during opiate narcotic withdrawal was "... more likely than not..." and that unattended withdrawal (meaning going cold turkey on your own), results in death "... more often than we'd like to admit."<br /><br />Can I call my survival a miracle? Well, based on this information, I'd say that I was certainly strengthened throughout by Jesus Christ, and that His divine intervention may well be the only reason I'm here today. I'm reminded of Romans 8:28 which says, "And we know that all things work together for GOOD to those who love God and are called according to His purpose..." and I can certainly apply Jeremiah 29:11 which tells me that God's thoughts toward me are NOT for evil, but for a future and a hope. I think it may be overly dramatic to say that, "I'm lucky to be alive..." but when you speak those words in the face of reality, and of statistics, and of those 206 people who are NOT here to share - maybe it isn't so far fetched after all?<br /><br />Life is certainly getting better. Coffee doesn't stink any more - Thank God! My hearing is pretty much back to normal, my eyes are as blind as they were before, and food has begun to taste - well, like food again. I have a beautiful wife, three amazing kids, a few pets, and air in my lungs. To quote Anthony Bordain - "life is clearly not sucking."<br /><br />And the best part of it all? It's not sucking - without opiate narcotics.<br /><br />It truly has been a journey.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/SpWbheGG2AI/AAAAAAAAAbU/SUhTySxUZn4/s1600-h/Me+and+Buddy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/SpWbheGG2AI/AAAAAAAAAbU/SUhTySxUZn4/s400/Me+and+Buddy.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5374372729653221378" border="0" /></a>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-27629813030760875742009-08-21T15:58:00.004-06:002009-08-21T16:40:13.567-06:00Surely there must be a reason for it all?Do you ever wonder why you are singled out for something in your life? As though someone had dipped their hand into a cosmic raffle jar and pulled out your name and suddenly your life was turned upside down, or suddenly you find out your sick with something incurable, or your job and security suddenly vanish? Do you find yourself wondering what you may have done - if this is the big ol' cosmic karma roller coaster ride, and it's your turn to find yourself bound and struggling on the tracks? Do you ever in your quiet time turn your eyes heavenly and ask the forbidden question, "why me, God?" Do you ever find yourself wishing for the end? Hoping for release?<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/So8hoOhsCXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/2Sgd92ihAU4/s1600-h/sorrow.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 253px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/So8hoOhsCXI/AAAAAAAAAbM/2Sgd92ihAU4/s400/sorrow.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372549855454169458" border="0" /></a><br />You are not alone.<br /><br />Times like this can try even the best of us. Job - a man that GOD said was without sin and perfect - found himself asking these kinds of questions. He found himself wishing he had died at birth! He found himself wishing to simply die and have done with it all. Often times we mistakenly think that if it can happen to an upright man like Job, then it's patently obvious it would happen to us. But just because it happened to Job, why would we naturally assume that we're more deserving than he was of testing? Of pain? Of hardship? Of loneliness? Of being hurt, betrayed, or slandered?<br /><br />"Friends" would tell you that possibly you deserve it for some past wrong. Others may suggest it's the result of unrepentant sin in your life. Yet others may say you're only getting what you deserve. But let me ask you - does that make the enduring of such trials any easier? Not at all. Where are the friends that will simply come and sit beside you in silence and endure the long hours with you? Where is the family that's supposed to support you and not judge you? Where is God when all of this is going on? Why does it seem as though you're in it on your own?<br /><br />It's because we tend to assume the worst of God, and believe the lies the Accuser whispers in your ear. "You deserve this." "What goes around comes around." "Sow the wind, reap the whirlwind." "You don't deserve better."<br /><br />They really are lies, you know.<br /><br />God's heart for us is tender, compassionate, and loving. Does that mean that there won't be consequences of sin in our lives? Of course not - but our consequences are not God's punishments. Like a loving father, God will drive foolishness from our hearts with the rod of correction, but he never leaves us in our sorrow or pain. Jeremiah - the "weeping prophet" understood what God's heart is for His children. The Lord revealed to him His love and compassion when He said, "For I know the plans I have for you... they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." (Jer. 29:11)<br /><br />Can God lie? No. It is impossible for Him to do so. So, can we believe Him? Certainly. He went on to share more with Jeremiah when he said, " In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you! I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes! I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and I will bring you home again to your own land." (Jer. 29:12-14) Some would say that this pertains only to Israel - and it certainly did when Jeremiah received these things, but as believers, we can claim the promises given to Israel of old, and we can trust in their fulfillment in our experiences.<br /><br />Times are hard. People are out of work. There is untold suffering in this world, and yet, it is NOT God's plan for us. Does He allow things to happen in our lives to draw us to Him? To teach us? To correct and direct us? Absolutely. But His plan for us to give us a future and a hope.<br /><br />A future and a hope you say? Yes - exactly that. We live in a horribly fallen world. There is a lot of pain and suffering - but our <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">future </span>- and that which gives us <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">hope</span>, is knowing our place in the Kingdom of God. As heirs with Christ, the home God spoke of - the one He will bring us home to? That's His Kingdom. It's ours through the process of adoption, and through the shed blood of Christ.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/So8gmpeclvI/AAAAAAAAAa0/e96GaxGl8NU/s1600-h/HOPE.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 177px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/So8gmpeclvI/AAAAAAAAAa0/e96GaxGl8NU/s400/HOPE.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5372548728816965362" border="0" /></a><br />A study done by John Hopkins Medical Center recently, showed that patients who were given hope and encouragement had a more than 75% rate of successful recovery, as compared to only 17% of patients in the control group. Hope is powerful. Hope keeps people alive through difficult, life-threatening, dangerous, or even painful experiences. Study after study has shown that persons in life or death survival situations who exhibit hope, stand a greater chance of survival than those who give up this precious and powerful gift.<br /><br />Life on this ball of dirt can really suck. I know from personal experience. You do too. But standing on faith and securing an unshakable hope can make all the difference in the world. After all, aren't we told that, "God makes all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose?" (Rom. 8:28) So maybe in the end, all of our pain, heartache and sorrow in this life, will be the very tools the Lord uses to work immeasurable good in our lives, the lives of those around us, and just perhaps someone who hasn't met Him yet?<br /><br />There has to be a reason for it all. I choose to believe it will be that God needed to shape me more, and make me more like Him.<br /><br />Just a thought.Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-74129983139969241942009-08-02T12:27:00.003-06:002009-08-02T13:00:12.408-06:00You really must read this site...Not to tell you how to live your life, or how to walk with God - however comma, THIS is an article that everyone who is walking with the Lord should read. I think it's time we got down to earth, and get real. This is amazing.<br /><br />Go check out this article: <a href="http://freebelievers.com/blog-entry/spiritual-porn-addiction">http://freebelievers.com/blog-entry/spiritual-porn-addiction</a><br /><br />Personally, I think it's time I dumped some of the conventions I've held. I think it's time to be more real about the Lord.<br /><br />Blessings,<br /><br /><br />MikeMichael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29213543.post-24548978154351281292009-07-16T12:09:00.006-06:002009-07-16T12:15:40.814-06:00My Cat Thinks I'm a ChairOne of the reasons I love this cat, is he likes to be on top of things... LITERALLY!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tcSR9KeI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/XCL94uvDBdI/s1600-h/DSCN2868.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tcSR9KeI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/XCL94uvDBdI/s400/DSCN2868.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359122414305094114" border="0" /></a>"Yes, human, you are my throne... get used to it."<br /><br /></div>I was talking to Chris and working on a computer problem, and my cat decided it needed to lounge upon me... Ahhh where would we be without animals in our lives? I love him!<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tzk__rHI/AAAAAAAAAao/CvtDGgfsyjo/s1600-h/DSCN2871.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tzk__rHI/AAAAAAAAAao/CvtDGgfsyjo/s400/DSCN2871.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359122814467026034" border="0" /></a>For some reason, he likes to sit his bum on your head...<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tcGslwKI/AAAAAAAAAaI/UIDdbs4SS_s/s1600-h/DSCN2867.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_pUFQXUaJ518/Sl9tcGslwKI/AAAAAAAAAaI/UIDdbs4SS_s/s400/DSCN2867.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5359122411195580578" border="0" /></a>Like a leopard, he likes to dangle his paws on either side of you!<br /><br /></div>Michael Hunterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09559146368690330076noreply@blogger.com1