I Loved Him Too...

The month has been so hard on our family. My sweetheart's little brother - and my brother in law - Micheal J. Davis passed away unexpectedly two days before Christmas. My heart breaks for his family, all his brothers and sisters - my wife among them - and for his five kids. He was young. It shouldn't happen that way.

My memories of Mike are - for the most part - very positive, and fun. When I was in the Air Force, we drove all the way from St. Louis to Sacramento California to go to an Amway rally, and Mike was there. We had a blast. Mike was smart. He was always looking for the angle. He always presented himself professionally in a way that was pretty amazing. Too bad none of us ever went anywhere with Amway - but it served to give us some good memories!

Another fun memory I have of Mike is when he was involved in Private Investigation. Mike, Jamie, Chris and I all played like we were kids wanting to see the home our grandfather had built in a Sandy neighborhood, in order to get inside the house and prove this woman was co-habitating with her boyfriend before her divorce was final! We conned our way inside the house, and that lady showed us the house from top to bottom - literally every room - with us making up memories as we went along. The boyfriend was "sick" in bed - HER bed. I'd say Mike proved his case. Just as we were leaving another neighbor pulled up, and the gal told them that we were grandkids to the man who'd built the house... well, THEY KNEW THE FAMILY, and obviously we weren't it! Needless to say, we boogied. That was fun!

Another amazing memory of Mike was when he lived with us in a small house in Sugarhouse on Stratford Avenue. Mike and I put in the absolutely most amazing garden you've ever seen. We had irrigation water to feed the garden, so we created all of the elaborate canals and channels to water the entire garden. It was awesome. Mike loved that garden. So did I. We had many fine late summer afternoons out there barefoot tending the plants. It was from that garden that the ever famous Hunter Family "Zucciskettiewatersquash" came into being. It was one of the best times of my life.

Another fond memory is the last New Year's Eve Party we had at our house a few years back. Mike and I had admitadly had too much to drink - but what's new huh? Anyway, we got this crazy idea and went and locked outselves in the bathroom together. While in there, we were daring eachother - I'll do it if you do! back and forth - back and forth, until we agreed, and got out the hair clippers, razors and shaving cream. In little more than a half hour, we both looked like Kojack, having shaved our heads bald, and bic'd them smooth. While it wasn't too popular with my sweetie, it was a fun memory I'll always have of Mike.

In addition to that, whenever I saw Mike - regardless of the situation, he would always throw his arms around me and tell me how much he loved me. Not too long ago, he did some tile work for us, and while he was there, he threw his arms around me and gave me a kiss on my cheek, and he pulled me close and told me that he loved me so much for taking such good care of his sister, and also for always making him feel safe, unjudged, accepted, and welcome in our home. Mind you, this was after I had to tell him he couldn't live with us after getting out of prison... with all my meds, it would have made it too much of a trial I believe... but he wasn't bitter. His hugs were always powerful, unashamed, and worth every minute. Ever since I'd first met Mike as a little boy, he had always greeted me that way - a bear hug, a kiss on the cheek, and his assurance of his love for me. I will dearly miss that.

It breaks my heart that Mike had the struggles in life that he did. Some would say that his trials in life were the fruit of the seeds he'd sown along the way. I agree with that. I do. It's true for all of us. Mike's life leaves a powerful legacy and lesson for all of us - if we'll honestly look at it. I know Mike fought a long and difficult battle with the demons that plagued his life, and we should never forget his times of victory, amidst the battle. The book of Proverbs tells us that a wise man will fall down seven times and rise again. Mike's life was a constant war, and he fell down a lot... but my brother rose again. He would stand up - no matter how much it hurt him, and he'd start again. It's not about reaping what we sow. It's about never giving up. About never staying down the next time we fall. If Mike left a legacy for his children to follow it was this - you can fall down, but you must always get back up.

Thank you Mike for your life, your love, and your example. I love you, and I always will, and I know that you'll be cherished and alive in our hearts until that time when we can plant another garden together in the sweet by and by.

Christmas Stress

Why is it that this time of the year seems to bring out the greatest amount of stress in our lives? You'd think it would be just the opposite - getting together with friends and family should be relaxing... but I suppose when the whole world is keeping up with the Jones' it makes for a time of stress rather than fun.

I'm not keeping up with anyone, but I'm still feeling an incredible amount of stress this year. Our economy, our job situations, the threat of social/economic collapse all combine to make one stressed out. Feeling stressed, I went to where I normally go when I'm having a hard time. The Word of God. And, after a short prayer, wouldn't you know that the Lord has the answer to this issue to? As I opened the bible, I came across this passage in Matthew 6: 19-34 (NKJV):

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

“Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

“So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."

It always seems that when we're running around with our heads cut off, trying to do all that society and ourselves have put on our plates, that the Lord comes through with a quiet reminder of where our hearts, eyes, and minds are supposed to be.

May it be so for you in this time of stress.

Merry Christmas.

Mike

P.S. I went back and read that same passage in the Message... I've never really liked the Message much, but when I read that passage in the Message, I was blown away... it talks to me... maybe it will to you?

“Don’t hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it’s safe from moth and rust and burglars. It’s obvious, isn’t it? The place where your treasure is, is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

“Your eyes are windows into your body. If you open your eyes wide in wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. If you pull the blinds on your windows, what a dark life you will have!

“You can’t worship two gods at once. Loving one god, you’ll end up hating the other. Adoration of one feeds contempt for the other. You can’t worship God and Money both.

“If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds.

“Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them.

“If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

“Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.

In the intended Spirit of the Season,

Mike

It's all about the NUT JOB in my Life

It has all become so clear to me... I'm dealing with a NUT JOB!

Antisocial Personality Disorder is also known as psychopathy or sociopathy. Individuals with this disorder have little regard for the feeling and welfare of others. As a clinical diagnosis it is usually limited to those over age 18. It can be diagnosed in younger people if they commit isolated antisocial acts and do not show signs of another mental disorder.

Antisocial Personality Disorder is chronic, beginning in adolescence and continuing throughout adulthood. There are ten general symptoms:

1. Not learning from experience
2. No sense of responsibility
3. Inability to form meaningful relationships
4. Inability to control impulses
5. Lack of moral sense
6. Chronically antisocial behavior
7. No change in behavior after punishment
8. Emotional immaturity
9. Lack of guilt
10. Self-centeredness

People with this disorder do not consider other people's wishes, welfare or rights. They can be manipulative and may lie to gain personal pleasure or profit. Impulsiveness, irritability, aggressiveness, irresponsibility, and a reckless disregard for others are traits of the antisocial personality. Low self-esteem, paranoia and a need to continually belittle others typically manifests in the person with the antisocial personality. People with this disorder may also show aggressive denial tendencies, especially when questioned or called to account; a psychological assault usually follows on those who try to cause the individual to take responsibility for their behavior or actions.

Socioeconomic status, gender, and genetic factors play a role. Males are more likely to be antisocial than females. Those from lower socioeconomic groups are more susceptible. A family history of the disorder puts one at higher risk.

There are many theories about the cause of Antisocial Personality Disorder including experiencing neglectful parenting as a child, low levels of certain neurotransmitters in the brain, and belief that antisocial behavior is justified because of difficult circumstances. Psychotherapy, group therapy, and family therapy are common treatments. The effects of medical treatment are inconclusive. Unfortunately, most people with Antisocial Personality Disorder reject treatment. Therefore, recovery rates are low.

And to think - all this time I've been coming at it from a totally different angle... I'm so glad this has been cleared up. Now I know how to proceed... with extreme caution... I'm dealing with a potential Postal Worker!