With my father's passing in January, I began to realize how futile it is to hold onto grudges and to maintain a false sense righteous indignation. Without going into details, sometime back, Julie sent a letter to me that was hurtful. It shocked me so badly, that I never responded. In my sense of indignation, I simply fell silent. Up to this point we had a connection with eachother, and sadly, I had let it lapse some, but we were certainly not enemies. Well, I handled it wrong, and Julie's letter was wrong, and we both acted wrong, and the sad end result was that we left eachother's lives for much too long. When I stood over the casket of my father, I took a serious inventory of my motives and my heart and decided to make some changes.The first change was to try to forgive my mother and honor her in the way she should be. It hasn't been easy, but it has been worth it. The next change was to look for an opportunity to reconnect with Julie. Well, one day while chatting with my other sister Lisa on IM, she was talking to Julie, and I told her to tell her I said Hi, and that I'd like to hear from her. I ended up getting her email address and started out carefully. I was excited when I received an answer to my email, and over time, we're working on making a relationship again.
Julie is the surviving twin in our family. I mentioned in an earlier post how Jimmy and Julie were the twins, and that Jimmy died at the hands of a cruel and heartless woman. Well, Julie was also a victim in that household and held Jimmy's hand while he died. I'm sure it left it's scars on her. In an ironic twist of fate, she has been blessed with twins herself. Charles and Paul. Paul reminds me of how I remember Jimmy looking. Though we aren't blond now, as children we were all pretty tow-headed. I haven't had the opportunity to just sit and talk at length about her memories of that time of her life, but I know it can't be pleasant for her to recall them. I'm pretty pleased she's getting along as well as she is.
Julie is married to Scott, and has been for some time now. They both share similar musical tastes with me. We all love The Grateful Dead and Widespread Panic. When I visited with them years ago, we listened to different bootleg tapes and had a great time. Scott made sure to send me home with some wonderful shows. This picture is of a recent trip their family took to Hawaii. Julie told me recently that this was the happiest she had ever been. And personally, I feel as though I can see it in her face.Speaking of her face... I've never said this before, but JULIE! LOVE! Can we talk? You need to gain a little weight love! You look like you would hum in a high wind! Truthfully, I simply look forward to seeing your face at my doorstep again, and being able to give you a hug and a kiss.
This is me... take it or leave it.
