Sunday, August 07, 2011

I don't know what to call this...

I've been waking up.

Factually, I feel like I've been asleep for most of my adult life. But something is happening.

Ever have one of those days when the sound your alarm clock makes is somehow integral to your dream? You know... that persistent and repeating buzz is actually the warning klaxon letting you know you only have 20 seconds left to disarm the nuclear bomb... ARGH! IS IT THE BLUE WIRE OR THE RED WIRE! WHY CAN'T I EVER REMEMBER?!?!

Well, something has been "going off" in the back of my mind for some time now - and I'm only now realizing that it's really an alarm - not "an ALARM!!!", but a "notification" - a touch - from somewhere outside of myself. From somewhere else; from some time else.

A part of my "soul"... my "me", my "inner me" is stirring. It's stretching, yawning, and looking for its metaphysical cup of coffee... and it's pulling the covers off of my eyes and whispering quietly in my sleeping ears, "wake up sleepy head... IT is passing you by..."

Puzzle pieces are falling into place... and there is room for all of them... And pieces which I'd forced into place are flying away.

What is that buzzing in my soul? What is that gentle whisper in my mind? What is that "old" and "familiar" feeling that seems to be brushing aside cobwebs?

I don't know.

I don't know what to call this.

Maybe I'm beginning to live for the first time in a very long time.